The Marriage Alliance

We entered as individuals and so shall we depart that way. You bring both your strengths and weaknesses to your union as a married couple. You do not give up your individuality just because you decide to marry and nor can you. You are committed to your self for better or worse as you are also dedicated to your partner for better or worse. A “mindful marriage” is based upon the strengths you bring to it, the strength you invest in it and the strength you actively receive from your partner. Do not hide your weaknesses, either from your partner or yourself, for within them are the strengths waiting to be discovered, promoted and to potentially enrich your personal growth and your marriage alliance.

As an individual, you have an obligation to advance toward the personal vision that enhances your self-worth, self-respect and personal satisfaction of accomplishment. As a marriage partner, you have an obligation to do so without denying your partner’s vision. Two individuals striving to improve their personal characteristics can more easily accept and tolerate the disappointments and challenges that life presents in every marriage. Share your strengths, reveal your weaknesses and commit to improving your self and your marriage alliance.

A shared vision, mission and goals will instill a need for an interdependent search for achieving your marital vision. You need to share responsibility for your successes and failures. You need to be committed, on a daily basis, to strengthen your shared values, just as you are committed to eating three meals a day. Look into your partner’s eyes and express your commitment to your marital vision, your partner and your own self improvement.

When you can freely sacrifice solely for your partner’s benefit and be dedicated to helping your partner advance toward his or her personal vision and self fulfillment, only then will you know that you have married the right person and you have become the right partner. After you have advanced toward your shared vision and feel that sense of fulfillment as an individual, you have, essentially, sealed the marriage alliance. Generally speaking, women have a slight edge over men in advancing the marital vision and commitment to achieving the shared vision.


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